Lesson 20
Plans for a Wedding
Genesis 24:1-14
Me-
Back when I was teaching in the youth department one of the things that I tried to emphasize to the young people was do not get involved with unbelievers. Sadly some of them did not give heed to what was being taught. I truly believe each of them thought that they could change the person with whom they had begun a relationship. I know of at least one who has since divorced her husband and has never remarried. Rather than seeing the un-churched come to Christ they almost always pulled the believers away from the church. Very few of those who had grown up in the church returned.
We-
In our anything goes society there is a real danger that our young people can so easily be led astray by the ungodly. This can happen in the strongest Christian family unless they are taught and understand the dangers of following their hearts rather than following God. They are being constantly bombarded on every side by the entertainment world and the media that tells them to give into their emotions and let nature take its course. That path will only lead to unhappiness in the long run. God has a plan for each young person and part of His plan includes finding a godly person with whom one could spend their lives serving God together. As Deuteronomy 6 tells us we need to help the young people in our care to be rooted and grounded in God’s Word.
The question we have to ask ourselves is, Are we setting the kind of examples for them that they want to follow? Remember they are watching us. Whenever we compromise the way we live by trying to walk in two different worlds, the spiritual and the secular, the results will be catastrophic. A young person can see through someone who is not genuine in a heartbeat. If they conclude that we are not true followers of Christ, they will drift away from church and get involved in what the world has to offer.
What I have written does not imply that we are to have nothing to do with unbelievers. Both Jesus and Paul spoke of the fact that we are to continue to live in this world. The difference between those who have rejected God and followers of Christ is that we are to be in the world and not of it. The only way we can witness to others is to be where they are. It is only when we become entangled in their ways and build strong relationships with those who are able to mislead us that we are going against God’s warning about those associations.
God-
Genesis 24:1
Although the Scriptures do not give Abraham’s age here, he would have been about one hundred forty years old. He was described as one advanced or stricken in years. God had truly blessed him with great wealth and long life, but after the death of Sarah he probably began to be reconciled to his own mortality. Not knowing when the end would come for him, he had one last major task to accomplish. In order to assure the posterity of his family, the time had come to find a wife for Isaac. There is no indication that God was leading him to take that step, but as will be seen He was working behind the scenes. Moses had already written of the genealogy of the one who would eventually become Isaac’s wife.
- Why does the Bible emphasize Abraham’s physical state at this time?
- What would have brought him to point of realizing his own mortality?
- Why did the writer mention the blessings that God had poured out on Abraham?
- What are differences in the focus of young people and those who are much older?
- What would have concerned Abraham at this point in his life?
- What was the last piece missing that would make his life complete?
- Without consideration to age what are some of the things that you want to accomplish?
- How would those thoughts be different if you realized that you only had a short time to live?
- What would be important in that situation?
Genesis 24:2-4
Abraham called his most trusted and oldest servant to carry on a very important assignment. This was to be a mission that Abraham could not trust to just any of his servants. He had be assured that the man chosen would be have the ability to accomplish the task Abraham was about give him. Although not named here most commentators believe the servant was Eliezer of Damascus.
The practice of commanding the servant to place his hand under the thigh may seem strange in today’s culture. In that day it indicated the procreative power and recognition of the fact that Abraham was the patriarch through whom the family would continue and be established. That act showed the seriousness of the task ahead for the servant. He was to swear not to take a wife for Isaac from among the godless Canaanite women. Isaac’s wife was to come from Abraham’s family that had remained back in Aram (today’s Syria).
- Why would he entrust such an important task to a servant?
- Why was Eliezer specifically chosen?
- Why did Abraham not go himself to get a wife for Isaac?
- What was the symbolism of the placing the hand under the thigh?
- Why did Abraham not want Isaac to marry one of the local women?
Genesis 24:5-7
Abraham went into great detail with Eliezer about the journey he was being asked to take. He was also given the reason he was going. He was to look for a maiden from Abraham’s family back in Aram who would be willing to return with him to marry Isaac. To make sure that he would fulfill the desires of his master the servant then asked a legitimate question. He wanted to know the lengths to which he was to go to obtain a wife for Isaac. He asked Abraham if he should not succeed in convincing one of the girls in the family to come with him did he have permission to take Isaac back to Aram to see if by doing so they would be successful. Abraham was adamant in his rejected of that idea.
The explanation to Eliezer would have cleared up any doubt about his task. God had commanded Abraham to leave his family and to go into Canaan which God promised to him as an inheritance. He then encouraged the servant by telling him not to worry God would give him success by sending an angel ahead of him to prepare the way.
- Why did the servant raise the question about the success or failure of the mission?
- Why did Abraham not want Isaac to go back to the place from which Abraham had left sixty-five years earlier?
- Why did Abraham take the time to emphasize his reasons?
- What encouragement did Abraham give to Eliezer?
- What lesson can we learn from the encouraging words of Abraham?
Genesis 24:8
The oath that was to be taken by the servant had an escape clause. He was not to be held responsible for the possible actions of others. If the woman refused to come with him he would be freed from the oath.
- Why was the escape clause important to the servant?
- What does this indicate about Abraham?
- What was the one thing that could not be guaranteed?
- In what ways do you sometimes hold people to impossible conditions?
- What is the one thing you must understand about how people might react to a request that you might make?
- How do you handle rejection of your ideas?
- In what ways do you look at them as a possible learning experience?
Genesis 24:9
It was only after he had received an explanation and answer to his question, did the servant agree to take on the mission given by Abraham. He then placed his hand under the thigh of Abraham just affirming the oath.
- Why did the servant question Abraham about the mission?
- Why did he wait until he had heard Abraham’s response before he agreed to take the oath?
- What lessons can we learn from the actions of Eliezer?
Genesis 24:10-11
The servant journeyed to the city of Nahor. He had been carried many gifts from Abraham to be presented to the prospective bride. Arriving in Nahor in the country of Aram, he waited by the well of the city waiting for the young women to come out to get water. Being from Damascus in Aram he would have known the customs of the land.
- Why did Abraham send gifts with the servant?
- What was the purpose of waiting at the well until evening?
- Why did the young women wait until evening to get water?
- In what way do we see the advantage of Eliezer being the one to make the trip to Aram to search for a wife for Isaac?
Genesis 24:12-14
At this point the servant wisely seeks God’s help. Trying to find the right woman would have been like searching for a needle in a haystack. He wanted to make the right decision. His prayer was threefold. He asked:
- For God to give him success
- That lovingkindness be shown to his master
- That the right girl be identified by certain criteria. If she offered to not only give him water but to draw water for his camels he knew that she was the one God had chosen for Isaac.
- Why did the servant seek God’s assistance?
- What were the parts of his prayer so important?
- Why did he ask for the answer to his prayer to be manifested in a certain way?
- How does this speak to the way we should pray?
- How do our prayers sometimes lack the boldness that is seen here? What is usually the result of such prayers?
You-
- Develop for yourself a clear understanding from Scripture what it means to be unequally yoked.
- Do not compromise your virtues when working with young people.
- Help those involved with unbelievers to see that type of relationship is not within the will of God.
- Approach decisions to be made and actions to taken with the wisdom of Eliezer.
- Remember you and I have a great responsibility to make sure that each person grows into a Christ-like person.
We-
We can learn something from both Abraham and Eliezer. Abraham understood that without children being born to Isaac the promises of God could not come to fruition. In the same way each of us who are followers of Christ must realize that without new believers the church will eventually die. He could have stayed home and hoped that somehow the right person would show up to marry Isaac. Realizing that was not likely to happen he took the initiative to send his servant to Aram to get a wife.
Eliezer understood the critical nature of the task he was being given. He wanted to make sure that he was clear about every aspect of Abraham’s instructions. Only when he felt that he and Abraham were on the same page was he willing to make the journey. We have been given God’s instruction manual, concerning how we are to live and make good decisions. God expects us to be of one mind with Him before proceeding with any actions affecting the lives of young people and new believers. Let us only continue on life’s journey when we know what God wants us to do. If we will do that we can expect success in the ministries of the church.
Additional Notes:
BL-Chapter 24 was also studied briefly. In this chapter we saw how Abraham followed God’s plan for finding a wife for Isaac. Since Abraham was so old, he appointed his oldest servant to this task. The servant followed Abraham’s explicit orders to not have Isaac marry any of the Canaanite daughters. Instead he was instructed to return to Abraham’s father’s household in Nahor, Mesopotamia and return with a wife from there.
After the long journey, the servant prayed for success in this endeavor. The servant meeting Rebecca at a local well there answered the prayer. Rebecca was the granddaughter of Abraham’s brother, Nahor and his wife, Milcah. Buddy then led us in to a profound discussion about why Abraham barred Isaac from marrying a Canaanite daughter. Our discussion revealed that like Abraham, we too have the responsibility to keep our children from practicing the lifestyles and worship practices that offend God. Isaac’s wife had to be one who willingly agreed with God’s plan for Isaac’s and his offspring’s lives.
If Isaac had wed a Canaanite daughter, her lifestyle, including the worship of false gods would have compromised Isaac’s descendant’s dedication and service to the God of Israel.
Likewise, each of our families at Bethany Place also must guard against similar compromises to our worship practices and godly living. One needs only to look at other churches’ policies, worship practices and members’ lifestyles to see how vitally important it is for us and our families to maintain a closer and purer relationship with God on a daily basis.
M-Being motivated to take a certain action comes from an understanding and sensitivity to the fact that God is in the process of accomplishing something in one’s life. Abraham knew that God was establishing a people through him. To have his son marry one of the women from the godless society in which he lived might abort God’s plan for His people. He also had faith that if God were to lead his servant to a certain person to be Isaac’s wife he could be assured that He was choosing the right person to continue His purpose for Abraham’s family. Hopefully, when confronted with the same situation that each of us would take the same amount of care in making sure the relationships that our children develop are the ones God would want for them. Our children should be encouraged to look for a mate who will have the same value system that they do. (Gen. 24:1-8, 12-14, 40, 48)
GC-Abraham may not have understood the concept of unequally yoked of which Paul spoke, but he was making sure that the son of promise would not marry outside of the family. What prompted him to make this decision? Was it God’s words that the locals would one day be destroyed because of their sin? (Gen. 24:3; Neh. 13:23-30)
TM-Abraham had believed God that the land on which he was dwelling was the place where he was supposed to stay. Isaac was not to go back to Nahor because his inheritance was in the land of Canaan. Ur represented a retreat into and a compromise with a pagan society. Abraham knew that the temptation to become a part of society would be too strong for Isaac to resist. (Gen. 24:5-7)
TM-Abraham was a great influence on those under his care, as we see by the prayers and worship of his Eliezer. (Gen. 24:12-14, 26-27, 42-45, 48, 52)
GC-Abraham’s servant understood that all tasks should be undertaken only after time had been spent in earnest prayer. He also remembered to give thanks once his assignment was complete. (Gen. 24:12-14, 26, 27)
RT-It is obvious from the way that Abraham’s servant lifted his requests to God that Abraham had truly impacted the man’s life by godly example. (Gen 24:12-14, 27, 48)
RT-Success should be predicated on our desire to serve the Lord and in doing so, to be a servant of others. Success is never for our own glory but for the Father’s. (Gen. 24:12)